My First Con

This weekend marked a new milestone in my life: I attended my first gaming convention.

It was so much fun and filled with nerdy bliss; I was in awe. We arrived in Indianapolis Thursday afternoon, August 16th for GenCon Indy 2012. In February we had purchased our four-day badges and booked our hotel for three nights. A month or so ago, we signed up for all of our events. Never having been to a convention before, we kept it minimal so as not to be overwhelmed. We had two or three scheduled games a day.

I learned a great deal about gaming during these days. Board games, dice games, card games, tabletop games, role playing games, video games, virtual reality games, True Dungeon games, puzzles, hunts, quests, crafts, etc. Steampunk galore. Belly dancers. Game designers. Crafters. Merchants. There were thousands and thousands of people in attendance, some dressed up in full cosplay, others just hanging out. At one point, I saw Captain America pushing a baby stroller with his giant shield resting in the seat. Darth Vader was in attendance as well as several Stormtroopers. We toured a True Dungeon experience (which was theme park/haunted house-like); we listened to live bands playing in the halls; and we giggled at some of the... "classy" outfits we encountered, e.g. a barely-there Pikachu outfit. There was a Zombie walk and a Cosplay parade and contest. 

We made a list of all the games we wanted to purchase when we got back home, either due to being sold out or cheaper prices online; we picked out a mug of random dice and the husband was fitted for a kilt. We decided to wait on the kilt though; shelling out a few hundred bucks for an (awesome) Utilikilt was more than we wanted to part with at the time. We toured the outskirts of the Magic the Gathering World Cup tournament that was held throughout the event. That was pretty intense. There were teams of people from literally all over the world. 

We watched groups play Warmachine and other tabletop games. We demoed new games and learned how to play others.

There were dozens of panels and symposiums, but we didn't attend any. There were several celebrities in attendance as well, such as Wil Wheaton, Nichelle Nichols, Wes Bentley, and Brandon Sanderson who autographed photos and answered questions. We ended up decided not to wait in line for any.

The showroom was gargantuan. There were hundreds upon hundreds of vendor booths; we didn't know where to begin! There was a very large artist's section as well. We were able to demo some games while we perused the selections. There was a giant "tower of t-shirts" that were way overpriced (which is to be expected) and many large sculptures, too. We watched a few minis being painted (for tabletop gaming) and checked out some shiny armor.

After our first day, I was already making plans for next year's GenCon, what to bring, what not to bring, packing coolers, where to go for lodging, the cost differences from staying next door as opposed to staying out of town and driving, making plans for the baby, etc. Yeah, the little one will be about 7 months old, but I saw plenty of little ones there during the entire event. Start 'em young, I say!

Sunday was the Family Day pass and children were everywhere. We were even talking about what we could do for cosplay next year, including the baby. It just ended and I can't wait for next year. Yeah, there was a LOT of walking, food prices were high (of course), and there were plenty of fart-clouds and BO-clouds to kill an elephant, but it was one of the best times I've had in a long time. I learned how to play the World of Warcraft trading card game and Magic the Gathering. We discovered that we really love Dragon Dice and we were thoroughly unimpressed with the overly-hyped Mage Wars. We absolutely loved the card game Goblins Drool, Fairies Rule and will be pre-ordering it for pick-up in December. Not only is it a fun game, it's good for children, too. It boosts their cognitive skills with rhyming and matching as well as learning a bit about strategy, all the while being very simple and fun.

The best highlight of our experience was finally meeting some good friends of ours who also made the trip. We've known them online for years, the husband knowing them much longer than I have. It worked in our favor that she has family in Ohio and they were planning on attending GenCon Indy as well! We met them at a restaurant Thursday night and laughed together for a few hours. It was like second nature and felt so natural. There wasn't any awkward-first-meeting-silent-moments and the conversation was never forced. We met up again Saturday for lunch out by the food trucks where I had my first taste of hummus. YUM! I've already pinned a recipe or two for it on Pinterest, ha. We watched them play Warmachine and walked around together later when one of our games was cancelled. We grabbed some Starbucks and played a game or two together before our next event that evening. Sunday was the last day of GenCon and after our final events, we met in the afternoon to say our goodbyes. After a few days of hanging out together, parting on the final day was bittersweet. I can't wait to hang out with them again. When you find good, authentic company, you can just feel it. 

With the advantage of living only two hours north of Indy, the drive home was a breeze. We arrived Sunday evening, unpacked everything, and settled into our normal routines. I took a three hour nap -oops- and Brandin played LoL online. We watched the rest of the Colts game as he taught me how to play MTG. Now I'm hooked and can't wait for more! He informed me this afternoon that he picked up one of the card games we played, Heap by Privateer Press. It was sold out at the convention and luckily he found it in one of the gaming stores back home. I guess I know what we'll be doing this evening!

Here are some more photos from the weekend.

Watching our friends play Warmachine

A friendly game of Ninja Burger!

Card building, the first day

Hmrr

MTG and chainmaille

Respect the Tardis

Just so you know.

One small section of the gaming tables

WoW tcg at the hotel Saturday night

Our first night at GenCon

Baby-ness

My 12 week appointment was Friday. It was scheduled for 4pm but got bumped up to 1:30 because my midwife had injured her knee and wanted to leave early. I can't complain about getting in earlier than anticipated, after all. As I showered and got ready, I couldn't stop thinking about my dear friend who lost her baby recently; I'm so heartbroken for her. We were only one week apart in due dates. I had been pretty calm until the morning of until I was standing under the hot water. Then reality hit me; tears began to well in my eyes and I couldn't help but think that maybe something bad had happened. Needless to say, I was beyond nervous.

It has been years since I have had insurance and years since I have had any annual exams done, so she started with that. It was a lot faster than the last time I had it done, thankfully. She then put the Doppler on my abdomen to search for the heartbeat. We couldn't find anything. She said that two weeks makes a whole world of difference when using the Doppler. She also said that if my uterus had happened to turn to the back, it would make finding the heartbeat even more difficult. She stood above me for at least five minutes listening, only to hear static. I could feel my breathing increase as I started to panic. I tried to hold my breath so I didn't miss hearing it. Julie (my midwife) didn't seem concerned and neither did Brandin. (He's always so calm and laid back about everything that it was beginning to frustrate me.) After giving up on the Doppler, she decided to send me down the hall to have an ultrasound to find the heartbeat. I was to come back for blood work once I was finished. 

Timing managed to work out perfectly for me that day as she had an opening right then. I only had to wait five minutes for her to prep everything. I ended up having a transvaginal ultrasound. As I lay on my back in a cold room with an unbelievably friendly technician, I saw the baby on the large monitor they had secured to the wall. (It was at least 27".) So, it was finally real. It was official. Sure, I've been nearly constantly nauseated and experienced more exhaustion than I ever thought possible. Sure, I've had several positive tests and the pregnancy was confirmed by Julie, but it still didn't seem real to me, not until I saw it on the big screen. My fears weren't quelled just yet though as it was laying there, motionless, staring up at the screen. Then all of a sudden, Stephanie (my technician) pointed out the heartbeat and then s/he started moving around very actively. As soon as I saw the rapid little heartbeat, I couldn't hold back the tears. It was like an invisible wall had came crumbling down.

We were in there for what seemed like at least a half hour. She took over 250 images as she documented everything in my uterus, checked out the baby, and charted measurements. She was astonished at just how active s/he was. She and Brandin were making jokes that the baby was doing gymnastics. She had said she'd never had a baby be so active before, especially this early on. It was beyond heartwarming. Brandin kept commenting on just how detailed the scan was; we could see fingers and femurs and arms waving around. I didn't want to stop watching. I was awestruck. 

I ended up measuring at 13 weeks instead of 12w4d. I was a little surprised when my midwife's assistant told me. Hopefully the blood work comes back fine as well as my annual results. 

My next appointment is at the end of the month and I can't wait. I'm hoping we'll have another ultrasound and we'll be able to hear the heartbeat on the Doppler next time. A couple years ago, one of my friends had ordered her own Doppler for her first child. I thought it was sweet, but now I'm considering doing the same! It's just a little more reassurance and another way of bonding - at any time of day, anywhere I want.

Recipe: Sugar Cream Cake

It's no secret that I love to cook and bake, I just don't get to do it that often. I had picked up some items at the grocery last night for dinner (for yesterday and today). I realized I had forgotten a key item, so on my way to the store this afternoon, I decided I wanted to make my favorite cake: sugar cream cake.  It has been a while since I've had it, so I jumped on the opportunity. It's my grandma's recipe. I can remember being a little girl and eating a piece of this cake at grandma's.

I've had a few people ask for the recipe, so here it is.

Ingredients - Part I:

1 package yellow cake mix

1 egg

1 stick melted butter

Part II:

1 - 8oz package cream cheese, softened

1 - 1lb box powdered sugar

2 eggs

Directions:

1. Mix first 3 ingredients with wooden spoon; mix well. Pat into greased 9x13" pan. Spread mixture up onto sides about 1 inch.

2. Beat last 3 ingredients until smooth. Pour onto patted mixture, spreading evenly to edges.

3. Bake at 350 degrees F for 30-35 minutes, or until golden brown.

ENJOY!

She's Crafty, Part I

I was introduced to Pinterest more than a year ago, but it hasn't been until the last couple months that I've really gotten into it. On any given day, I can be found perusing the site at random hours, for unhealthy lengths of time. This site has also encouraged the craft-o-holic in me. I have completed about 7 craft projects so far and have dozens more on the waiting list. Unfortunately they will probably stay there for a while since classes have started back up.

Here are a couple of the things I have made thus far:

This is probably my favorite. It is our wedding vows and Scrabble tiles; I also decided to hand-antique the paper. It is very simple. Print your verse (or whatever it is), crumple paper and smooth out. Pour enough fresh black coffee to cover paper; sprinkle with instant coffee grounds (I skipped this step), and bake at 200 degrees F for 5 minutes or until paper is dry/edges curl. I still had a lot of coffee left, so after baking, I dumped some of it until there was just a tiny layer covering the paper. I think I ended up baking mine for a total of 15 minutes. Be sure to keep an eye on this!

I had left over tiles from the coaster craft. The original blogger of this idea spelled out "ALWAYS" but I was missing a few tiles. I did have enough to spell out "AMOUR" (French for love, if you didn't know). This frame is 8x10 and was on clearance for $3.00 at Wal-Mart. Place the tiles wherever you want. I super-glued mine in the middle. Frame as a regular photo. I used black Duct Tape to secure the backing since the tiles make it pop out a little.

Note: Be sure to have something underneath your paper if you are using super glue. I adhered my tiles to the counter without realizing it, HAHA. Luckily it was salvageable (and so was the counter).

This craft is so incredibly simple, I can't wait to make another. All you need is canvas, crayons, a hot glue gun, and a hair dryer. Adhere the crayons with the hot glue gun to the canvas, in any design you'd like. I started with a rainbow for my first piece. Once crayons are adhered, now you may begin the long process of melting the crayons. I propped my canvas against the wall and laid newspaper underneath, above, and on the sides to save the area from wax splashing. Melt the crayons until you have the look you desire. Voila!

Stay tuned for more crafts and a few recipes!

To Be Resolute

An excerpt from a private blog, written January 1, 2012.

I don't believe in New Year's Resolutions, nor do I make them, but I do believe in myself. I do believe in the things stirring within me as of late. I believe in my hands and whatever power I may hold and my ability to use it for something worthwhile.

The new year is upon us already. These are not resolutions that I have made in haste, but rather, things that I will do... things that I am already doing... things I will continue to do.

...to be kind

...to be healthy

...to forgive

...to let go

...to grow

Happiness is earned, not granted. It is a fight every-single-day. I have to make the conscious decision to choose my reactions. The more aware I become, the more I set myself free... the more I grow and learn and live. I have recently realized that I have been wrong all along; happiness is not a grand destination. It isn't nirvana. It comes in little segments, from the mundane and trivial moments of glee to supreme life events. It is everything. I have missed so much because I dismissed it and forced myself to believe that happiness is everlasting. If it was only momentary, then it wasn't true happiness. I couldn't have been more wrong.

I would say that it is time to change some things, but.. I had already begun; I just didn't realize it until now.

Psst. Is This Thing On?

Well, well, well. What have we here?

A while back, I lost track of this blog and my photography blog. So many things were happening in 2011, I didn't have time to focus on either. I then grew tired of the archaic layouts and my general lack of web design knowledge. I wanted to revamp this blog in particular, but I knew it was going to be a hefty undertaking. I also grew dismayed at my lack of things to blog about, so I privatized it for a while. Then one day I decided to delete it all together. If I wanted to blog again, I would blog anew. 

I set out to do that this morning. While I was going through all the settings and re-familiarizing myself with everything, I noticed that while this blog (and my photography blog) had been deleted, there was the option to "Undelete". As you may have noticed, that is what I decided to do. I haven't changed anything except the typeface of the tab selection at the top. I even left prior entries intact. I feel a little more accomplished that way, ha.

I will though. I will change some things around and organize a bit. I do have topics of interest I want to delve into and crafty/cooking things I want to blog about as well.

So, as my coffee turns cold and one of my dog sits at my chair waiting to be fed breakfast, I'll leave you with this for now. A welcome home party for myself and time to get reacquainted.

Stay tuned.

P.S. I have an unhealthy addiction to Pinterest and that will be documented quite well here. 

"Break..." Ha Ha!

It has been almost two weeks since I last posted. I was first confronted with Spring Break... haha, "break", that's funny! And now I've been sick this entire week. My hearing has been reduced to about 25% as well because of it. All I can do is hope that it doesn't become as severe as Brandin's, thus sending me to the ENT.

I met last week with a long list of things I wanted to get done since I was on "break." While I did accomplish quite a bit, it still wasn't everything I had hoped. The week was over before I knew it and it felt like I hadn't even relaxed at all. Saturday night we went over to our friends' house for a cookout. After the night was over and we were readying ourselves for bed, I could feel a weird pressure in the back of my throat and my inner ears. I woke up Sunday morning sick. It's progressed every day since then. As of yesterday, my hearing was drastically affected. This week I had created a long list of things I had to get done and I've completed all but two of them, and those two being the least important. The week is not over though, I plan on editing these two sessions tonight when I get home from work.

I had several photo shoots last week! It was very exciting and busy, busy, busy. After I clock out tonight, I'll be dropping off the disc to one of my clients. Submissions begin next week for Student Show, plus the rest of the end-of-the-semester projects are beginning. I know I shouldn't be taking on clients right now, but I'm still in the hunt!

We watched Jackass 3 two times over Spring Break. We had already seen it in theatres when it first came out. It's something I grew up with. It brings back such memories watching those boys. I remember being 15 or 16 when Jackass first debuted on MTV. These guys were a big part of my youth, it's like they were my friends as well. With reminiscence comes old memories that one perhaps doesn't want to remember, i.e. my ex. Life was all about him during that time and anything associated with it spurs those memories. It's not all bad though. Life moves on just as we all do. It's okay to let go. I just have to keep reminding myself of that. Everyone makes mistakes. It's how we learn.

Getting What You Truly Need

I just finished reading an article on the Rock the Shot forums. It was in their Spotlight Photographer section and the artist was Jasmine Star. I loved the entire article and it was so informative, but the last bit is what got me. It spoke volumes to me. It was exactly what I needed to read and I stumbled upon it exactly when I needed it most. Here's an excerpt:

What is the best piece of advice you would give a new photographer who is just starting their own photography business?

When I think back to when I first started, I can’t help but feel sorry for that girl. The girl who didn’t trust herself enough to take bigger risks. Who didn’t dream big enough. Who limited herself by her own experience and other people’s estimations of what was possible.
If I could go back and tell the Jasmine Star of 2007 something, I’d whisper in her ear: Believe in what you know you can do. Trust your gut. Ignore the naysayers. Dream big, but hope for more.However, knowing myself back then, I would ignore the whisper…so then I’d grab me by the shoulders, give me a good shake, then holler straight in my face, SPRINT TOWARD WHAT YOU WANT AND DON’T EVER LOOK BACK. Ever.

Life as a Test

Life is a test, and yes, that is cliche, but it is true. If you don't practice and prepare and study for a course in school, you will not learn and more than likely, fail the exam. Life is the same way, in essence. Being the bigger person is a work in progress. It is not something that comes over night and it is not something that will be finite. I am a work in progress. The difference is that I am now aware of my actions and thoughts and attitudes. I control my reactions, or at least, I have the opportunity for control. In the end I have the knowledge that, while being the bigger person now may be a struggle and seem to be a slap in the face, it in fact, is not. I will benefit in the long run. The hard work will pay off and I will be a happier person for it. That doesn't mean I am going to allow people to walk all over me, but I am not going to let it dictate my life, either.

I may be a little naive in saying this, but I believe that those who are the people creating drama, hurting others, being selfish, and not caring to be the bigger person are going to be miserable underneath it all and lead less than happy lives. I'm not always happy, by any means, but my spirits are lighter as I practice being a better person, as I practice letting go of the trifles in life. This has been an eye opening of sorts for me because I have a very large temper and I am oftentimes impatient. It's a hefty task I've set out on, but I am already reaping the benefits.

The other day I was greatly upset by something small. It was trivial but it still hurt, nonetheless. I am still struggling with it and I am trying so hard to bite my tongue and channel my frustrations in a positive manner rather than confront this person on such a trivial matter. To me, it is not worth hurting another and I know it would, given the demeanor of this other person and given previous situations where I thought honesty to be the best policy. It still is, don't get me wrong, but there are times when you have to know when to hold 'em and know when to fold 'em. This time, I'm folding 'em, but I'm taking with me the knowledge that I am growing as a person and that I am a work in progress. There is an underlying reason why this person's actions, or lack thereof, hurt me so deeply. That requires internal investigation and it is something I am working on.

The One with Doubt

Sometimes I fear I am just a pseudo-photographer, a pseudo-artist. It really shakes me to my core. I think that is why I lack confidence. I think the two go hand in hand. Am I just lying to myself, really? I love it, yes, but can I do it? Am I good enough? I lack so much. I lack so much experience and skill. Am I one of those photographers/artists? The ones I can't stand? Do I dislike them so much because I secretly am one of them? Of course all of my friends and family will immediately come to my defense and smooth things over, saying I'm so great, so talented, and blah blah blah. But really, what do they know? I mean that in the kindest way, also. I don't mean that in a snobbish or derogatory way. But really... they're not artists. As I type this, I know it sounds beyond elitist, but it is really not my intention to come off that way. I just can't think of a better way to phrase it. Not everyone is an artist. Not everyone is a photographer. Not everyone has the same creative eye. Not everyone will understand the creative process and what is good vs. bad. A lot of people will just want to quell my fears and tell me I'm good enough. I know they mean well, and I do appreciate what they're trying to do. Some of them are credible, don't get me wrong, but the vast majority are just saying it because it's PC and they want to cheer me up. I thank them for that, but in cases like these, I prefer honesty. I know I'm definitely not the greatest. I know I don't have much experience at all. I know I am still beyond uncomfortable behind the lens, even though I love it at the same time.

I know it's a learning process. I know it will come in time with experience and practice, trial and error. I know. That doesn't do anything to satiate the inner turmoil and fear that I'm just not good enough. I guess all I can do is continue pressing that button and framing that image. Keep pressing on (pun intended) until one day, I feel a little better. Until one day, I don't feel so out of place, so self-critical, so questioning. I'll admit, I chip slowly away at it each time I have a session, but it's still there. I'm working with toothpicks, trying to dismantle the Great Wall of China.

A Day of Fail

Yesterday seemed to be a day full of Murphy's Laws, or what I like to call, FAILS. They were minimal at first and if one didn't look closely, almost unrecognizable. It started off early in the morning as I headed to my Latin class. I was day dreaming as I drove through the addition. There are many entrances/exits to our addition and for some reason unbeknownst to me, I took the wrong one. Instead of going straight down my road, I turned right. I laughed at myself after I passed the first block, "really? Idiot!" I had two options: I could find a place to turn around and drive through the addition or I could keep going and go out to the main road and have to fight through traffic. I took option A, which in all honesty, took probably the same amount of time since there is an elementary school beside our addition. It wasn't a big deal, I was just a few minutes late to class. The teacher didn't care and I still had a decent parking space.

The next fail came around 4:50pm when I was counting down the minutes to the end of my shift at 5pm. I hadn't felt well all day and I just wanted to go home and curl up with my recently acquired LOTR book. I don't know what made me think of it, but I suddenly realized that it was Friday and my shift ended at 6pm, not 5. I can't explain the level of disappointment and anger I felt toward myself. I don't really know why I thought it was 5, that's not really important. So I had to find a way to pass yet another hour. I had a few customers but they were self-sufficient so I was left to myself. I walked around, stocked a few things, and watched tv. I love TBS reruns: Everybody Loves Raymond, According to Jim, The Office, F.R.I.E.N.D.S. Those are what I look forward to on Friday afternoons.

It was shortly after my work fail that I suddenly thought to myself, "oh no, did I put on deodorant this morning? I can't tell. I can't remember. Did I?" I still don't remember if I did, lol.

And now for the big one, the one that kept me at the alley for two more hours.

After mom and Jeff got there, I gathered my things, clocked out, and said my goodbyes. I settled my things in my car, strapped on my seatbelt, turned up npr and made my way down the street. I decided to go straight down the side street instead of turning off onto the main street; I like to do this because I get to look at a house that is Rent-to-Own and near the alley. I like to dream, basically. As I pass the house, I suddenly hear this massively loud thud/popping/snapping noise under my feet and it was strong enough that it made me jump and actually vibrated my feet. I thought, what the hell? I know I didn't see anything in front of me as I drove. Maybe I did run over something and it hit my undercarriage. I looked in the rearview mirror. Nothing. There was nothing in the road, anywhere, including potholes. My next thought was that maybe some of the lowlifes that live across the street had thrown something at my car. That was a stretch, but I had no idea what it was. My car still felt normal, so I kept driving for a block or two. I noticed my left wheel felt wobbly or uneven; I thought maybe my tire had popped. I decided to turn around in a parking lot and head back to the alley. As I turned, that's when the popping began again. Great. It IS my car. I make it back to the alley and run inside. I tell mom and Jeff the story and he comes outside to try to see. In the mean time, I'm texting and calling Brandin with no answer. Talk about annoying. He was at work so I could understand, but still. It was almost a half hour later before I got a hold of him.

Jeff couldn't see anything when we went outside. He texted his friend, Bill, to have him come up and look at it. He's not a trained mechanic, but he always does all of his own work and would probably be able to tell me what was going on. The problem was, he was still in Ohio, so we had to wait for him to get there. I ended up calling Andru, who then called his mom because she was with Domingo, her ex and also the "family mechanic" who does all of our work. He kept saying it sounded like a spring, but all of the things he had me look at and the "testing" he had me do, nothing acted in a way it would if the spring had broken. Finally Bill got there at the same time Brandin did, around 7:30pm. He messed with it for a long while and drove it around the block. Finally he came back and said it's either a tie rod, which had been previously mentioned (however, the wheels were fine), or a rack and pinion. One is expensive, one is not. He said he's leaning toward the rack and pinion, which is the expensive problem.

Of course. I've had nothing but bad luck with this car. It would take another entry to list all of the issues I've had with it.

We decide to take it to mom and Jeff's instead of leaving it at the alley. I took my camera and laptop out of the car after I parked it in the driveway and we headed home.

I'm not sure what's going to happen next. I have to have Andru take me to get his truck since it's at his mom's, and then I have to use it to drive to work today. Tomorrow I have the Brookside photoshoot in which I'll have to borrow Brandin's truck. I don't have a way of towing the car, so I'm not sure how to get it to Domingo. It's drivable, I just don't feel safe doing so, considering it's about 20 miles from home. Something has to be done though. We can't survive on one vehicle. We don't have the money for this, either. On top of that, Brandin has to go see an Ear, Nose, and Throat specialist, which is going to be in the hundreds of dollars just for the visit and testing alone. He might need surgery. And he has problems with his car (I can't remember what it's called) but we're looking at $1000 plus. So now we're back to considering trading it in.

Oh, and did I mention we're both full time college students and work part time jobs that are just enough to cover our monthly bills and pay for gasoline? Yay, higher education. At least in the fall, I have a better opportunity to get another/different job and work during the week since I only have class on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

What a day of fail. I maintained my cool for the most part up until the car issue. Then I just wanted to cry. I still kind of do, really, lol. And to add to the fun mix, we have four big birthday parties scheduled today again, so there isn't going to be any resting or lull time at work. At least I am off at 5 today! Wait, is it 5? 6? Kidding, I know it's five. I'm counting down already and I'm not even at work.

Here's hoping the Day of Fail was unique to only yesterday.

It's Okay to Unfriend!

There comes a time when you have to make the decision to cut someone out of your life. This can be a painful process or it can be an easy decision. What is important to realize is that if someone is constantly dragging you down, there is something you can do about it. I know that may be easier said than done when it comes to a family member or someone close to you, but it can be done. I've done it. Sometimes it is easier when it is a person on a website such as Facebook or even Open Diary. I made that decision just moments ago. I had been mulling it over in my head ever since the person first offended me. I mentally made a list and realized that every single interaction I have had with this person has put me on edge. It has been offensive, sexist, racist, judgmental, close-minded, and all sorts of other negative -isms. 

Todays remark was the last straw. I read it on Facebook just before my Public Speaking class this morning. The details aren't important, though those of you on my Facebook list might know what I'm referencing. I read this person's comment and I instantly saw red. I was fuming. I could feel a black shroud of darkness fall over me. The weight came crashing down on my shoulders. I could literally feel the anger and negativity in my muscles. I spewed a thousand different comments out all at once and then retracted them. I ended up leaving only two words before class had began. I thought off and on about it throughout most of the class. (I can still feel the tension in my shoulders and neck now as I talk about it). Moments before class ended, it dawned on me: I don't have to be friends with this person. I don't have to allow him to remain on my Facebook Friends List. I am not required to have any interaction with this person, ever. He is a friend of a mutual friend. I have no ties to him. I realized that if this person is creating such a massive amount of negative energy and is sapping the life right out of me when we interact, then something needs to be done. 

There is no reasoning with a person like this. There is no point in arguing my stance. There is no use trying to change a person of this nature. All attempts are futile. People like this are poison. Poison. How do I know this? I could feel it. I knew it when I realized my entire mood drastically changed when we had any type of interaction. All communication we had was negative. Always. There is no embellishment to that statement, I promise you.

So I took the first step I needed to take in order to rid myself of such negativity. As soon as I got home, I unfriended him from Facebook. I mulled it over for another ten minutes and then decided to Block him all together. I don't know him very well and I don't know if he would try to message me or contact me in another way, but I don't want to ever speak to him again, regardless. I don't need people like that in my life. No one does. They're infectious and harmful. I have to do everything I can to be a happy and positive person. I struggle with negativity myself. I don't need to compound the negativity of others on top of my own. Luckily I have become more conscious of my negativity and I am learning ways to channel it or block others from it.

I think sometimes we are afraid to delete or block a person from accessing our lives, whether it be in person or online. I think we are used to being told to just "deal with it." I know I was. That's why this realization was so important to me and that's why I feel it's important to talk about it. We have the ability to choose who we allow in our lives and even more so, we have the ability to choose how a person affects us and influences us.

I am a work in progress. I am constantly working on myself. I try to surround myself with other happy people in order to help me learn how to be happy and more positive and optimistic. When you are constantly surrounded by negative people, you will become infected. Even if it is just one negative person, it will spread, in some form or another, to everyone that person comes in contact with. The levels of severity range, of course, but we need to be conscious of it. We need to be conscious of ourselves and our moods and attitudes and be conscious of others as well.

I guess what I'm getting at is that this may be common sense to a lot of you, and really, it should be, but it was an epiphany of sorts for me. I choose what happens in my life and who stays in my life. It's okay to rid yourself of the negative. It's how you survive and learn to be happy. And I made a step toward that today.

Reading is Hard

Well, it's minimal thus far, but it's coming along. It turns out if you actually slow down and read through information, you may just find what you need! It's still not 100% yet as I'm still designing little doohickies in Photoshop and tinkering around with different "accessories" and "gadgets" available. I did include my Twitter feed. Maybe this will force me to keep up with it!

Brandin is doing his math homework online; James Bond is playing in the background; the laundry is going (albeit, not ours); the dogs are harassing us for their dinners; and my neglected Latin homework is staring me in the face. I think I'll dink around with this for a little while longer and then hop to it.

Noobcakes

Man, this thing is so jenky! I am learning though, albeit very slowly. I've had some help from a dear friend and I've bloodied my eyes by reading countless how-to blogs. I finally found a look I liked, though it was a background and separate images as opposed to an actual template. I am still struggling. I follow the directions in the FAQ section, but sometimes it doesn't work. I still need to figure out how to have a menu bar at the top that directs readers to different (separate) areas of the blog, such as "Home", "About", "Photo", etc. I haven't been able to nail that one down yet. I feel like I'm trying to teach myself Chinese! I'd probably do slightly better at that than this. >.<

It's time for me to call it quits for the day though. My niece's 9th birthday party is this afternoon, and I've yet to paint on my face or do anything with my hair. I was wanting to leave in a half hour. Brandin isn't even home yet. Not surprising.

So much for a relaxing Sunday!

And So...

I decided to create a daily blog and then link my photo blog with it. I don't want to clutter up both with stuff from the other!

And now to the fun part... creating a template!