It's Okay to Unfriend!

There comes a time when you have to make the decision to cut someone out of your life. This can be a painful process or it can be an easy decision. What is important to realize is that if someone is constantly dragging you down, there is something you can do about it. I know that may be easier said than done when it comes to a family member or someone close to you, but it can be done. I've done it. Sometimes it is easier when it is a person on a website such as Facebook or even Open Diary. I made that decision just moments ago. I had been mulling it over in my head ever since the person first offended me. I mentally made a list and realized that every single interaction I have had with this person has put me on edge. It has been offensive, sexist, racist, judgmental, close-minded, and all sorts of other negative -isms. 

Todays remark was the last straw. I read it on Facebook just before my Public Speaking class this morning. The details aren't important, though those of you on my Facebook list might know what I'm referencing. I read this person's comment and I instantly saw red. I was fuming. I could feel a black shroud of darkness fall over me. The weight came crashing down on my shoulders. I could literally feel the anger and negativity in my muscles. I spewed a thousand different comments out all at once and then retracted them. I ended up leaving only two words before class had began. I thought off and on about it throughout most of the class. (I can still feel the tension in my shoulders and neck now as I talk about it). Moments before class ended, it dawned on me: I don't have to be friends with this person. I don't have to allow him to remain on my Facebook Friends List. I am not required to have any interaction with this person, ever. He is a friend of a mutual friend. I have no ties to him. I realized that if this person is creating such a massive amount of negative energy and is sapping the life right out of me when we interact, then something needs to be done. 

There is no reasoning with a person like this. There is no point in arguing my stance. There is no use trying to change a person of this nature. All attempts are futile. People like this are poison. Poison. How do I know this? I could feel it. I knew it when I realized my entire mood drastically changed when we had any type of interaction. All communication we had was negative. Always. There is no embellishment to that statement, I promise you.

So I took the first step I needed to take in order to rid myself of such negativity. As soon as I got home, I unfriended him from Facebook. I mulled it over for another ten minutes and then decided to Block him all together. I don't know him very well and I don't know if he would try to message me or contact me in another way, but I don't want to ever speak to him again, regardless. I don't need people like that in my life. No one does. They're infectious and harmful. I have to do everything I can to be a happy and positive person. I struggle with negativity myself. I don't need to compound the negativity of others on top of my own. Luckily I have become more conscious of my negativity and I am learning ways to channel it or block others from it.

I think sometimes we are afraid to delete or block a person from accessing our lives, whether it be in person or online. I think we are used to being told to just "deal with it." I know I was. That's why this realization was so important to me and that's why I feel it's important to talk about it. We have the ability to choose who we allow in our lives and even more so, we have the ability to choose how a person affects us and influences us.

I am a work in progress. I am constantly working on myself. I try to surround myself with other happy people in order to help me learn how to be happy and more positive and optimistic. When you are constantly surrounded by negative people, you will become infected. Even if it is just one negative person, it will spread, in some form or another, to everyone that person comes in contact with. The levels of severity range, of course, but we need to be conscious of it. We need to be conscious of ourselves and our moods and attitudes and be conscious of others as well.

I guess what I'm getting at is that this may be common sense to a lot of you, and really, it should be, but it was an epiphany of sorts for me. I choose what happens in my life and who stays in my life. It's okay to rid yourself of the negative. It's how you survive and learn to be happy. And I made a step toward that today.